Anger Management (Emotion Control and Display)

Sociology of Emotion

Professor Kang commented that I could have discussed more on the influence of power in emotion control and display.

I got an A- for this research paper.

ANGER MANAGEMENT
(EMOTION CONTROL AND DISPLAY)
Nur Rashidah Bte Amren

Words Count: 3,158

Literature Review

Defining emotion is challenging in the sense that people tend to look at it in different lenses. However, among all the theories put forward, two actually managed to garner a lot of defenders. As brought forward by Thoit’s elements of emotion, there are social, cultural and biological dimensions of emotion (Turner, 2007). One, which I will place it under the social and cultural dimensions, is that emotions are intentional states in which they are directed at something (Deigh, 2008). I shall use sadness as an example. A person is sad because his mind is directed at a sad event such as the death of his mother. He knows that the loss of his mother will make him feel lonely in the future and the joy they shared together in the past will be left as memory. His sadness is directed at his dead mother, the thoughts about the past and his future. Thus, sadness is intentional unlike the experience of giddiness, state of mind that can occur undirected at anything (Deigh, 2008). A strong absolute proponent for social and cultural dimensions of emotion can be found in the theory of the Greek and Roman Stoics in which they maintained that emotions were judgments. Hence, animals and infants, according to them, were incapable of emotions because they could neither formulate propositions nor promote or reject the propositions (Deigh, 2008).

The second one is the notion on primitive emotions. A prominent advocator for the biological dimension of emotion is Charles Darwin. Expression of emotion in human beings and animals are said to be voluntary at first, soon became habitual and at last hereditary (Calhoun and Solomon, 1984). Darwin gave the example of hair standing Man experiences when he is frightened. Today, such action is similar to that of dogs and cats whose erected fur will make them look larger and fierce and hence, deter the predators from attacking them (Deigh, 2008). Although the purpose is lost over the centuries, human beings inherited such traits from their ape ancestors. Hence, the defenders of such theory see emotions as something evolving and innate in human beings.

However, Darwin himself recognized the cultural and social aspects of emotions. He maintained the need to separate involuntary expressions from conventional expressions (Deigh, 2008). For example, when an Asian boy is angry, he is taught to keep quiet. He is encouraged to keep his unhappiness to himself. However, for the Americans, for example, they are told to express themselves freely, including showing their anger by throwing vulgarities or making negative hand signs in public. Based on personal experiences, the usage of vulgarities in public can be heard more in the Western countries than those countries in Asia. These are conventional expressions. Involuntary expressions will be those that involve musculature of the human face. They are instinctive. Using the same example above, both Asians and Americans will unintentionally move the same part of their facial muscles when they get angry such as squinting the eyes.

In this research paper, I will be leaning towards the social aspect of emotions because I believe that it is the social factor that determines, to a larger extent, how human beings manage their emotions. I am not rejecting Darwin’s proposal on the biological dimension of emotions. In fact, I am for the fact that human beings do need Emotion (biologically programmed into human beings) in order to be able to experience emotions. However, as I mentioned above, the impact generated by the social rules on controlling and displaying emotions in social interaction is far greater than biology. The emotion which I am focusing on is anger. Despite many disputes on what counts as primary emotion, everyone agrees that anger is an emotion that everyone feels. It is because, anger is important in ensuring the survival of human beings as well as the formation and the maintenance of a stable society.

On the first part of the paper, I will be examining anger management in social interactions and apply Goffman’s dramaturgical approach in understanding how anger is displayed and controlled in public. Personally, I feel that in order to manage our anger well publicly, one needs to understand both the display and the feeling rules as brought forward by Hochschild. It is because in this world, talk and action are the front line elements of daily social encounters and behind this front line are the supply lines of attitudes and feelings about oneself and others (Gahagan, 1984). Hence, the emphasis in knowing both rules to succeed in daily social interactions. In this section, I will divide it into two parts. The first one deals with the management of anger in order to avoid social condemnation such as how one hides his or her anger. The second will illustrate how social and cultural norms are broken and ways to mend the mismanagement of anger. Next, I will discuss on the second aspect of the social dimensions of anger which takes into consideration social structure and power. Here, I will be utilizing Foucault’s theory which states that everyone has power in one way or another and hence, the authority I exercise over my nephews and younger siblings which allows me to express anger differently as I would in public.

Case 1
Recently, I went to Malacca with my family for a holiday. My aunty was our host and we stayed with her during our one week long vacation in Malaysia. We were not the only family since many of my uncles’ and aunties’ own family joined us. During our stay, I observed how my mother was treated like a domestic helper. She was asked to cook and prepare meals for all of us, including my cousins. While everyone was enjoying themselves, my mother needed to stay put in the kitchen and took orders from everyone. I was angry and hence, to lessen my mother’s burden, I volunteered to help her serve my cousins, uncles and aunties as well as their friends. At that moment, the anger was still manageable. I could only grit my teeth when I saw the rest laughing while eating the food on the table. How could they forget about me and my mother?

In any face to face interaction, information about the individual is conveyed through expressive messages ‘given’ and ‘given off’. While the former is intentional, the latter is usually unintentional and can be seen from his or her body language, tone and facial expressions. Nevertheless, a person does have the capacity to control their own expressions ‘given’ and ‘given off’ (Smith, 2006). The evident is clear, such as when the audience is conned into believing that the person is experiencing a certain emotion. The actor then has the upper hand of the game and can easily manipulate the audience for the actor’s own benefits. In Case 1, although I was angry, I managed myself to smile at the persons I was serving to. I could have shown my anger towards my host aunty for treating my mother badly but I choose not to because to win the game, I must be able to play with my expressions ‘given’ and ‘given off’. I wanted to visit A Famosa Water World and my host aunty has offered to bear all the expanses. Should I show tantrum, I would definitely be penalized and she might not want to bring me out for holiday. Worst still, I might be labeled as rude and ungrateful child, someone who forgot how to respect her elderly. If that happened, I would lose face. Since feelings attached to faces (the positive social value a person effectively claims for himself by the line others assume he has taken during a particular social contact) are determined by group rules and the current definition of situation, I needed to follow the rules (Smith, 2006). I wanted the monetary benefits she offered and hence, to win the game, I needed to manipulate my body language so as to show that I am pleased to do the housework. Thus, anger is managed so that I could gain something (a treat to A Famosa Water World) in return as well as for the sake of saving my mother’s and my own face.

However, such efforts are impossible should I am ignorant about the feeling and display rules. For example, as a Malay girl, I know that hospitality towards family and friends is important. Hence, serving others is highly valued and according to the Malay’s feeling rules, the person who serves should feel happy and obligated to do so. Although in this case, the practice of hospitality was inappropriate, in the sense that they knew that my mother was ailing and there were other younger girls in the chalet to help out in the kitchen, showing dissatisfaction and anger openly would have negative consequences on me. Thus, I need to plant a smile in accordance to the display rule. These two types of social norms are learned through my socialization as a Malay girl.

Case 2
There are two buses’ services at the Singapore Custom, 160 and 170. Bus 160 will bring its passengers to Jurong East Interchange and will take the same route as Bus 170 for few stops before going in separate directions. Hence, a lot of people regardless of where they want to go will take either bus 160 or 170 depending on which one comes first. On that day, I was carrying a huge traveler bag on my back and both of my hands were occupied, carrying huge luggage on both sides of my hands. I was waiting for Bus 160 at its lane to take me and my friends to Jurong East Interchange. Bus 170 arrived and we wanted to board the bus since it came first but we could not do so. The family standing on the front did not move and with our huge luggage, it was impossible for us to cut their queue to board Bus 170. The persons behind us grumbled a lot because they also wanted to take Bus 170 but could not since they could not pass us. 45 minutes passed by there was no sign of Bus 160 although eight buses numbered 170 came and went. We, including the rest of the persons behind us were trapped at that lane. I could sense anger and impatience in everyone in that line, especially those who wished to cut queue to take Bus 170. Suddenly, a mid forties uncle shouted at me and my friends, saying that we could also take Bus 170, alight at Kranji Station and board Bus 160 to Jurong East. From the way he spoke, he might be assuming that we had not idea about such route and it was our fault for the long queue at Bus 160 lane. My male friend who was extremely exhausted started to shout back at him for yelling at us as if it was our fault. Verbal abuses war started between my friend and that uncle and a Cisco officer needed to intervene to stop the argument. My other friend explained our situation to that officer and surprisingly, the heated argument almost ended abruptly with the arrival of that officer. Both my friend and that uncle apologized to one another and we resumed our journey.

We are told that we can and should control our expression of emotions. However, we are seldom told that actually, we can even control their actual occurrences (Gahagan, 1984). Self-management techniques, as proposed by social psychologists, allow a person to control and sometimes totally avoid getting unwanted emotions. In this case, upon hearing the uncle’s yelling, I knew that I would get very angry and I did not like the feeling on getting angry when I was extremely exhausted after a long journey. Hence, I took a deep breath and calm myself by remembering God. However, when anger could no longer be controlled, as happened to my friend, social and cultural norms were broken. Once these norms are broken, a series of mismanagement practices needs to be done so that peace and normal societal order can be restored.

Impression management is a dramaturgical concept which highlights the way in which persons in the company of others strive to present an image of themselves in particular ways (Scott and Marshall, 2005). Hence, as mentioned above, once scenes are created, corrective practices need to be done to maintain equilibrium. There are various types of scenes, and the one that we were in at Singapore Custom fell under the scene where the interaction between two persons goes out of hand that others are forced to become witness or to take side (Goffman, 1959). Upon realizing the chaos my friend has done and the fact that he was about to lose his face for being seen by others as an immature youth, he needed to perform corrective practices to save his face. Information was provided (my friend said that it was not our fault since the family in front of us did not move from their position and that he was too exhausted from the travel that a shout from the uncle triggered him off unintentionally) to show that the actor was under the influence of something, in this case; exhaustiveness, and he was not acting as himself (Goffman, 1967). Also, as a supplement to redefining the unacceptable act of yelling and exchanging verbal abuses publicly, my friend can also provide punishment or penance for himself. For example, other than apologizing to the uncle at the end of the dispute, he could also apologize to the rest of the passengers. This could show that he did not treat the feelings of others lightly and that the rules of conduct (not to display anger overtly in public and avoid using vulgarities among one another) which he appeared to have broken are still sacred (Goffman, 1967).

Case 3
Being the eldest sibling in the family, I am granted great deference from my younger siblings and nephews. In their eyes, I am seen as someone wise, especially since I am the only university undergraduate in the family. Hence, I can exercise a degree of authority towards them. One day, my nephew was caught drawing on my lecture notes. I was so angry that I snatched his pen away and scolded him harshly until he cried. After a while, I felt guilty. Just a few hours ago in school, my friend was happily drawing flowers and apples on my lecture notes. I was not pleased with her activity but I could only afford a smile and laughter as though I approved her doing. However, when my dear nephew did the same thing, I flared into rage. Was that fair to him? Why did I behave differently?

Power is usually involved in the structural or economics discourses. However, Foucault maintained that power should be look at how it is exercised at the precise and localized individual levels of particular institutional interfaces (Hook, 2007). Everyone has power relatively. For me, although my parents exercise authority over me by determining what I should or should not do, I do have a certain degree of authority over my younger siblings and nephews. This shows that power is not something that is owned or innate in a person. It works both way in the sense that when I am exercising power, my siblings and nephews need to acknowledge the power and authority that I am exerting over them. Furthermore, apart from being the eldest in the family, I am the only one who enters university and hence, is seen as someone knowledgeable. As it goes, knowledge comes with power. Foucault recognized the importance of knowledge in generating deference from people as the actor exercises his power. When a person has a power, according to Hochschild, he or she has more freedom to deviate from the feeling and display rules imposed by the society (Hochschild, 1983/2003).

According to the conventional rule, one should not practice double standard (theft should be a wrongdoing to both Singaporean and non-Singaporean). Another social rule is that an adult should be gentle in dealing with a young child who may not know what is right or wrong. In Case 3, I have broken both rules. I showed anger to my nephew for drawing on my lecture notes despite doing nothing when my friend did the same thing to me earlier that day in the lecture theatre. It was only made possible because I have a degree of power over my nephew and hence, I could scold him to express my dissatisfaction. I could not do the same thing towards my friend because if I did show my unhappiness to her, I could be negatively sanctioned by my other friends because conventionally, one should always be courteous to one’s friend and practice tolerance. Any disagreement should be solved diplomatically. Since, my friend and I are egalitarian in terms of power structure, I need to practice face work and adhere to the feeling and the display rules. In addition, should the child is not my nephew but other person’s child; I cannot show my anger to him or her. Rather, I will need to portray gentleness in correcting their child’s wrongdoings because I have no authority over the child.

Conclusion

In conclusion, our emotions are guided largely by society. Society imposes certain feeling and display rules and we, as members of a society should adhere to the rules in order to ensure that our society functions well. Emotions can act as glues but they can also segregate a society. Anger is a good example in which a mismanagement of anger can cause family, friends and the society as a whole to break apart. In the first case, I illustrated how our expressions that are ‘given’ or ‘given off’ can be manipulated to our own advantage. Handling an emotion well is only made possible if we know the display and feeling rules. If a person does not know the rules involved in playing rugby, how can that person plays rugby without being sent off the field? In the second case, I demonstrated how we can not only control our emotion but also prevent an emotion from occurring. Knowing that being angry in a tired state is unfavorable to me, I stopped myself from getting angry by taking a deep breath when an uncle came and scolded us. When social and cultural norms are broken due to the inability to suppress anger, corrective measures need to be taken to save one’s face. Lastly, I mentioned how power and structure can alter the need for a person to follow the conventional feeling and display rules. The more power you have, the more leeway you get should you breach the norms. Thus, although human beings are biologically programmed into having the ability to have emotions, it is the social and cultural dimensions of emotion that really play a part in our daily social interactions.

References
Books
Deigh, John. 2008. Emotions, Values and the Law. Madison Avenue, New York: Oxford University Press, Inc.
Gahagan, Judy. 1984. Social Interaction and its Management. New Fetter Lane, London: Methuen & Co. Ltd.
Goffman, Erving. 1967. Interaction Ritual, Essays on Face-To-Face Behavior. New York: Anchor Books.
Hook, Derek. 2007. Foucault, Psychology and the Analytics of Power. New York: Palgrave Macmillan.
Marshall, G. And Scott, J. 2005. Oxford Dictionary of Sociology. NY: Oxford University Press Inc.
Smith, Greg. 2006. Erving Goffman. Madison Avenue, New York: Routledge.

Readings
Darwin, Charles (1872/1984) Excerpt from The Expression of Emotion in Man and Animals in Calhoun and Solomon (1984)
Goffman, Erving. 1959. ‘The arts of impression management.’ In his The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life, New York: Anchor Books, pp. 208-237.
Hochschild (1983/2003) Chapter 8, Gender, Status, and Feeling in the Managed Heart.
Turner (2007), Chapter 2. “Why did humans become so emotional?”